Dr. Gordon Neufeld: Hold On to Your Kids

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The economic and cultural changes that have occurred in North American society in the past fifty years have resulted in today’s children looking to their peers, instead of their parents, for direction; for a sense of right and wrong; and for values, identity and codes of behavior. This peer orientation works to undermine family cohesion. It interferes with healthy development and fosters a sexualized youth culture in which children lose their individuality and tend to become conformist, desensitized and alienated.

These concepts—and what to do about them to develop strong families and emotionally healthy children—are explained in the book “Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers,“ by Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. and Gabor Mate, M.D.

When I spoke with Dr. Gordon Neufeld from his home in Vancouver, British Columbia, we began our conversation with a discussion of the importance of developing an attachment between the adult caregiver and the child, beginning at infancy.

The book Dr. Neufeld recommends is “The Anatomy of Dependence,”  by Takeo Doi. More information about Dr. Neufeld’s work may be found on his website.

Originally Broadcast: October 25, 2005

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Boothman, Nicholas: Getting People To Like You

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How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

Making people like you is a skill that anybody can learn. By reading body language and synchronizing behavior, it is possible to make meaningful connections with almost anybody in almost any circumstance. We appreciate and like people similar to ourselves, people we understand and people who are open. “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” is the title of a book by Nicholas Boothman, a neurolinguistic practitioner who lives in Toronto, Canada.

Nicolas Boothman recommends “Love in the Town of Cholera,” & “One Hundred Years of Solitude,” both by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Originally Broadcast: January 2, 2001

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Livingston, Gordon M.D. – How To Love?

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Everybody thinks about love and many people say “I love you”, but how is love defined? The book “How To Love” written by psychiatrist Dr. Gordon Livingston grapples with these and many other questions about love, and how to find a compatible and pleasurable partnership. In this interview, we discuss how to choose more carefully, in matters of love to get what we desire and deserve. The song, “Do You Love Me?” from the musical “Fiddler On The Roof,” is our background music. Dr. Gordon Livingston spoke from his home in Columbia, Maryland on July 13th 2009, where he lives and practices psychiatry. The conversation began when I asked Dr. Livingston to define love.

The book Dr. Gordon Livingston recommends is “All He Ever Wanted,” by Anita Shreve.

 

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Rosenthal, Ken Paul — The Space Between Brilliance and Madness

 

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In this program we discuss cultivating wellness in the space between brilliance and madness with Ken Paul Rosenthal, an independent film maker based in San Francisco, California. Rosenthal says his “work explores the geography of madness through the regenerative power of nature, urban landscapes, and archival footage from social hygiene films.”

His 2011 film “Crooked Beauty”, Crooked Beauty chronicles artist-writer Jacks McNamara’s journey from psych ward inpatient to pioneering mental health advocacy.  Rosenthal’s 2018 film “Whisper Rapture” Whisper Rapture is a ‘doc-opera’ about the life, music, and radical mental health advocacy of cellist-vocalist Bonfire Madigan Shive. The music you are hearing now is by Bonfire Madigan Shive on her cello, with permission.

Not a stranger to demons of the mind, Rosenthal readily shares his personal experiences, and describes how communities of like-minded people can collectively ease their individual pain by creatively navigating the space between brilliance and madness.

When Ken Paul Rosenthal and I visited by phone from his home in San Francisco, California on July 30, 2018, we began our conversation when I asked him to describe what many people call ‘mental illness.’

The books Ken Paul Rosenthal recommends are both by David Abram: “The Spell of the Sensuous: Perception and Language in a More-Than-Human World,” and “Becoming Animal: An Earthly Cosmology.” The film he recommends is “Leave No Trace,” about a father and daughter who lived off the grid in the wilderness.

www.kenpaulrosenthal.com   www.whisperrapture.com

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Basta, Michael — Relationship Warning Signs

Why some couples get along and others don’t, sometimes to the extent of terminating their relationship, is a curious question, the answer to which is likely to bring both pleasure and unhappiness to each of us. Michael Basta has been a licensed clinical social worker based in Sonoma, County California, since 1988. He is trained and certified as a Gottman Couples’ Therapist. This training identifies the traits and behaviors of couples that are useful to predict how long their relationship will last. Michael Basta visited Radio Curious on May 21, 2010, and began by describing the negative traits and behaviors that indicate a dark future for the relationship.

The book Michael Basta recommends is “The Female Brain,” by Dr. Louann Brizendine.

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Sullivan, Michael Gene Political Theater, Black Men and the Police

From the archives of Radio Curious:

Theatre as a commentary on the condition of society is the subject of this edition of Radio Curious.  The topic is the relationship of police and black men in America in 2015.  Our guest is Michael Gene Sullivan, the resident playwright, director and a principal actor in 2015: Freedomland,” this year’s production by the San Francisco Mime Troupe.

The first question and answer on the frequently asked questions page on the San Francisco Mime Troupe website is:  “Why do you call yourself a Mime Troupe if you talk and sing?”  The answer is:  “We use the term mime in its classical and original definition, ‘The exaggeration of daily life in story and song.’”

When Michael Gene Sullivan and I visited by phone from his home in San Francisco on June 29, 2015, I asked him if “2015: Freedomland” was an exaggeration of daily life in story and song from his perspective.

The book Michael Gene Sullivan recommends is “The Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America’s Police Force,” by Redley Balko.

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Bayer, Jaciara — Transracial Adoptions and White Privilege

Radio Curious discusses transracial adoptions with Jaciara Bayer, a 30 year old Brazilian born woman, who is currently studying for a master’s degree in social work at the California State University at Hayward.

Jaciara Bayer was adopted and brought to the United States at age 11 months by her single, white-American mother and grew up in Ukiah, California.

A transracial adoption, which may be an international adoption, is the primary focus of Jaciara Bayer’s plan of study for her master’s degree. Sharing her personal experiences, she tells us of being told she’s different, growing up in a white family and white privilege. When Jaci, as she is often known, and I visited in the studios of Radio Curious on March 23, 2015, she began with her earliest memories.

The book Jaciara Bayer recommends is “In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want,” by Iyanla Vanzant.

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Blevis, Marcianne — Jealousy

Are you jealous?  Have you ever been?  Do you know the origin of your jealousy? Jealousy often goes hand in hand with feelings of love, but where does this emotion come from, and how can we manage it?

In this edition of Radio Curious we visit with psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Marcianne Blevis, author of “Jealousy: True Stories of Love’s Favorite Decoy.”  In this book, Marcianne Blevis, who lives and works in Paris, France, reveals different ways jealousy affects different people and suggests methods to understand and manage what can be a very destructive yet elusive emotion.

She examines the deeper consequences of jealousy and inquires if jealousy is useful to us and if this ‘extraordinary passion,’ in reality is ‘a strategy for survival’.

I spoke with Marcianne Blevis from her home in Paris, France on February 2nd, 2009, and began by asking her to explain what jealousy is.

The book Marcianne Blevis recommends is “Aux confins de l’identité” (title translated by Marcianne Blevis as “At the Frontier of Identity”) by Michel De M’uzan. This book is currently published only in French.  

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Axt, Robert: Mixed Messages and Creative Imagery

Intelligence bears the precious gift,  of bringing into being  —  the dream only imagination —  makes possible our seeing.

And the dreams found deep within — the chambers of our hearts  — are best expressed and brought to life  —  by the creative arts.

This poem presents the world view of Robert M. Axt, our guest on this edition of Radio Curious.  Axt is a retired contractor who self-studied to become an architect, whose last name was changed three times by the time he was ten years old, and now in his mid-eighties, a poet and patron of the arts.

Act, who has lived in Ukiah, California, since the 1960s shared his childhood story in the November 2016 presentation of First Person Plural, a monologue series taught and directed by the Ukiah dramatist Ellen Weed.

Axt created an enriched family life for himself along with a live of artistic imagery which he manifests in his work as an architect and in his passion as a poet.

In the first half of this edition of Radio Curious, Axt reads his monologue, Mixed Messages.  It describes the loneliness and cruelty of his childhood, while living with relatives or step-parents, and often alone by himself after age 12.

In the second half we discuss how his life might have been had his father not been banished from his life at age 2, and his thoughts about the importance of fomenting the creative imagination.

The book he recommends is Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, by Louis Carrol.

This program was recorded on December 11, 2016.

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Werdinger, Roberta: Barbed Wire and Flowers

Barb Wire and Flowers: A daughter’s story of her perception and relationship with her father.  He, a survivor of the holocaust, and she, his adult child describes the strength of his life incumbent on her youth, and their visit to one of the two concentration camps where he was interned by the Nazis in World War Two.

Roberta Werdinger, a storyteller, writer, publicist, editor, is our guest in this edition of Radio Curious.  Raised as a non-secular Jew and ordained as a Buddhist Monk, plans to include Barbed Wire and Flowers in the memoir she is currently writing.  I heard her public reading of Barbed Wire and Flowers here in Ukiah in June, 2016 I invited her to visit Radio Curious.  She did on November 21, 2016.  Our visit begins with her reading, and I invite you listen for the next 17 minutes. Our conversation follows.

This program was recorded on November 21, 2016.

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